NEW YORK (AP) — On the eve of his sentencing, Sean “Diddy” Combs told a federal judge Thursday that he is a new man after realizing that he was “broken to my core” and at times questioning his will to live.
In a letter to Judge Arun Subramanian, Combs, aged 55, reflected on how a year in jail cleared his mind of substances and allowed him to confront his past mistakes which ultimately led to his conviction on prostitution-related charges.
“Over the past year there have been moments when I wanted to give up, and on some days I felt I would be better off dead,” Combs admitted. “The old me died in jail, and a new version of me was reborn. Prison either changes you or kills you — I choose to live.”
Combs was acquitted of sex trafficking charges but faces up to 10 years for the prostitution counts. His attorneys recommended that he be released, claiming that his year of incarceration has been sufficient punishment, while prosecutors are pushing for a minimum of 11 years.
In his letter, Combs acknowledged that the last two years have been the toughest of his life, stating, “I have no one to blame for my current reality and situation but myself.” He expressed remorse for his past, particularly for the harm he caused to others, stating that simply saying “I’m sorry” is not enough to mend the pain inflicted.
Combs Apologizes for Past Violence
In his letter, Combs also addressed his violent behavior toward former girlfriend Casandra “Cassie” Ventura, apologizing for an assault captured on video. “I was dead wrong for putting my hands on the woman that I loved,” he wrote, expressing deep regret and remorse for the assault.
To another survivor known as “Jane,” he offered apologies as well, stating that her testimony compelled him to recognize the pain he caused her.
Combs articulated, “The remorse, sorrow, regret, disappointment, and shame has made it so hard for me to forgive myself. It is like a deep wound that leaves an ugly scar.”
In prison, Combs has been proactive, engaging in reading, writing, and teaching a course called “Free Game with Diddy” to share his business acumen while addressing the lessons learned from his past. He is also undergoing therapy to confront his addiction and anger issues, claiming sobriety for the first time in 25 years.
Seeking Mercy for Family
Addressing the court, Combs pleaded for leniency not just for himself, but for his family, particularly his elderly mother and seven children, whose lives have been impacted by his absence during his incarceration. He mentioned missing significant milestones in his children's lives, amplifying his plea for a chance to redeem himself.
He described his incarceration conditions as “inhumane,” detailing overcrowding and lack of basic amenities, which added to his urgency for reconsideration of his sentencing. Combs promised that if granted a second chance, he would make the judge proud.
Ultimately, Combs' letter reflects a realization of the gravity of his actions and a heartfelt determination to rebuild his life in a positive direction, underscoring a commitment to change.
