In brief
A recent experience learning Hong Kong-style mahjong led to self-reflection on the discomfort of being a beginner, ultimately revealing the power of shared activities to foster connections and community spirit.
Last week, I gathered a friend and ventured to a Brooklyn restaurant for my first taste of Hong Kong-style mahjong. The vibrant bakelite tiles and the distinctive sound they produce intrigued me, reminiscent of family gatherings where my mother engages in her weekly American mahjong games. Watching her play sparked a longing within me—a desire for my own regular pastime, a ritual that fosters connection.As we sat down with approximately 15 other novices, anxiety mingled with excitement. Our instructor led a trial round, unveiling the game's complexity step-by-step: constructing a tile wall, learning to roll the dice, and familiarizing ourselves with the various tile suits and honors, including dragons and winds.Mahjong turned out to be intricate and challenging to grasp. Despite the teacher's patience and repetitive explanations, I found myself grappling with the nuances: it takes three identical tiles to win a pung, and the rules around flower tiles left me confounded. As frustration crept in, I questioned my motives for even attempting to learn this game alongside others I already knew but seldom played. The struggle of adopting new skills felt burdensome in the face of life’s existing challenges. I was prepared to make an excuse to leave, doubting my ability to commit to something unfamiliar and daunting. Much to my surprise, days later, my friend excitedly declared she had purchased a mahjong set. “Let’s find two more people and start a game,” she urged. I recalled my initial hesitance but was struck by the potential for connection nestled in this willingness to be inexperienced.Though mastering a new game can be unsettling and even embarrassing, my friend’s enthusiasm illuminated the path toward community building. Learning together invites us to embrace vulnerability and encourages camaraderie. Perhaps we'll create a new hobby or even the warm, clubby atmosphere that I've admired in my mother's games. In this shared journey towards becoming a little less awkward, we might just forge new connections that enrich our lives.



